I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
