I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
