Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
