I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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