I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
