Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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