I'm jealous of your bromance
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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