Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She bit a glass in half.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
