Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
