The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize