You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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