Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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