Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
