Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
