At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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