he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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