all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
