So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize