I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
