i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize