He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
