Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize