Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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