you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
