Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
