No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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