Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
