so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
