I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
