Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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