I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
