so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
