Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
