what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
