I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
