I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize