she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The convent might be a nice break from real life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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