Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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