I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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