the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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