ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
