if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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