Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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