I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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