Can i not drive my cunt home
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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