I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize