That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
