You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
