You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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