Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
