Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
