these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
