Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
