Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
