it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
