What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
