my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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