How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Please don't give away my fajitas
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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