It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
