More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
