Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize