lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
